Deep Down

Deep down I know I will never touch your lips
Deep down I know I will never lay in your arms
Deep down I know I will never hear the words
Deep down I know I will never feel your heartbeat
Deep down I know I will never run my fingers through your hair
Deep down I know I will never play in fields with you
Deep down I know I will never look in to your eyes
Deep down I know I will never be yours
Deep down I know you will never be mine

 

Deep down is a place I avoid
Deep down is a voice I mute
Deep down is a truth I deny
Deep down is a soul I drown
Deep down is an empty hollowed trunk full of you

 

Deep down, I need to hear what is being said
Deep down, I need to see the truth
Deep down, I will grow old, alone without you
Deep down, I know I should move on
Deep down, I know I should close this door
Deep down, I know I should find another
Deep down, I know, I should acknowledge my deep down
Deep down I am hopefully hopeless
Deep down I am helpless

As I Lay My Head

Written: Mar 5, 08 

As I lay my head, I think of the world around me
I see the sky, blue and bright
I see light

As I lay my head, I think of work around me
I see tasks, easy and hard
I see purpose

As I lay my head, I think of the people around me
I see the faces, happy and sad
I see spirits

As I lay my head, I think of lust
I see desire, flesh and body
I see sex

As I lay my head, I think of love
I see beauty, sprit and soul
I see you

I want…

I want fluffy warm socks.
I want my hot water bottle always full always warm.
I want a hot meal waiting for me at the end of a long day.
I want arms to hold me in a hug after a long hard day at work.
I want a shoulder to fall asleep on while watching TV.
I want a night full of sleep.
I want to see the world from high above.
I want to see the sun set on the Indian Ocean.
I want to swim with whales.
I want to wrestle with giants.
I want a conversation with God.
But most of all , right now, I want fluffy warm socks to keep my toes from falling off.