Erased

I want to erase you

From my memory

From my flesh

From my heart

From my life

You are now gone

Your hypocrisy the last straw

You said you loved me

But you chose to live a lie

A year I endured

And when my wings spread

You disappeared like the wind under them

You don’t realize that now I don’t need you to be there

You are not my wind

I don’t need you to pretend

I don’t want you near

I don’t want you far

I don’t want you

I will erase you

Make you a blank in my mind

No emotion

No touch

No smile

You are nothing much

Just a blank in the past

Where nothing is

I erase you

From my memory

From my flesh

From my heart

From my life

You are a blank stare

You are a superficial conversation

You are not

And that makes me so happy

No longer torn between wanting you and not

No longer longing for what can not

No waiting by the phone

No dreaming day and night

There is no more you

A blank

Erased

Torn

I am torn between two

The longing I feel for you

The anger I feel because of you

 

I am torn between two

The memory of you

The resignation of not you

 

I am torn between two

The tears that want to come every night

The strength that holds them back

 

I am torn between two

The need to be near you

The distance that is a gulf

 

I am torn between two

The actions

The inaction

 

I am torn between two

Wanting you so much

Wanting me so much

 

I am torn.

In My world

If I were to create a world, my world would have you in it.
I would build castles in the sand that would not wash way with the tide.  

My world would be full of spring blossoms and singing birds.
My world would be full of wonder and excitement. 

In my world I would hold you and cuddle you.
In my world I would keep you warm.
In my world I would quench your thirst. 

My world would be uncomplicated.
My world would be honest.
My world would be a white filled with color. 

In my world the music would sing to our souls.
In my world a look would not be stolen.
In my world a touch would not be forbidden.
In my world the sun would shine but not burn.
In my world the bees would make honey but not sting.

In my world there will be no other.
In my world there will be space for all of you.

In my world, my world would be very different.