Deep Down

Deep down I know I will never touch your lips
Deep down I know I will never lay in your arms
Deep down I know I will never hear the words
Deep down I know I will never feel your heartbeat
Deep down I know I will never run my fingers through your hair
Deep down I know I will never play in fields with you
Deep down I know I will never look in to your eyes
Deep down I know I will never be yours
Deep down I know you will never be mine

 

Deep down is a place I avoid
Deep down is a voice I mute
Deep down is a truth I deny
Deep down is a soul I drown
Deep down is an empty hollowed trunk full of you

 

Deep down, I need to hear what is being said
Deep down, I need to see the truth
Deep down, I will grow old, alone without you
Deep down, I know I should move on
Deep down, I know I should close this door
Deep down, I know I should find another
Deep down, I know, I should acknowledge my deep down
Deep down I am hopefully hopeless
Deep down I am helpless

As I Lay My Head

Written: Mar 5, 08 

As I lay my head, I think of the world around me
I see the sky, blue and bright
I see light

As I lay my head, I think of work around me
I see tasks, easy and hard
I see purpose

As I lay my head, I think of the people around me
I see the faces, happy and sad
I see spirits

As I lay my head, I think of lust
I see desire, flesh and body
I see sex

As I lay my head, I think of love
I see beauty, sprit and soul
I see you

Still

You still make me cry
A thought brings tears to my eyes
I choke on the memory of the pain that wrenched my heart into place

You still make me long
For a smile to light your eyes and mine
For words exchanged
I stumble on conversations I want to have with you

You still make me smile
With memories of days gone
Moments of time stolen, now hidden in the crevices of my mind

You still move me
To fury
To confusion
To pain
But most of all to love

I try to deny it
I try to escape it
I run far away, in my mind, while my footsteps take me far afield

But you are still there
You are still everywhere
In every conversation
In every song
In every book, painting, and picture

You still penetrate
Deep into my life, my soul, my heart
You still are…